Tonbridge life coach’s advice for positive body image

“The world today seems to be a constant rat race for fame and attention-grabbing social media. We want followers, likes and comments.

You will often hear a conversation that contains the phrase ‘she got 10,000 likes on that photo’.

This then sets the ‘amazing bar’ at 10,000, meaning that if you were to post something and it received 500 likes – which might be more realistic given that you live in a smaller social circle – you might feel you are only five per cent as great as the person you desire to emulate.

Most of these pictures are based on image – a new bikini or a muscle shot at the gym. These leave a social snail trail of physical attraction, and the less likes you get, the less attractive you are.

We all have parts of ourselves that we would like to change, alter or enhance – this is just part of the way we think. However, we tend not to look at these through the appropriate lens.

Rather than look at bettering ourselves, we see it as taking us one step closer to being like someone else.

And physical ‘imperfections’ can create the most painful mental distress. ‘I don’t like that about myself’ becomes ‘I am not good enough’ and ‘no one will love me’.

It is crucial that you begin to train your mind to think positively about your body and how you look – you need to start to ‘think pretty’.

Don’t decide your body changes based on someone else’s standards. Look at yourself and think about a better version of you, according to your own standards.

If you would like to lose weight, then do so. If you want blonde hair because that’s what you like, then do it.

It is vital for your mental health that you are physically happy. No one is perfect – the ones who seem so are fake.

It is so important that you become more comfortable in your body. If you are happy, then what others think won’t matter.”

For more information, search for Life Change Guide on Facebook or visit lcguide on Instagram

Five steps to feeling better about yourself

1 Write down six things you like about yourself – three physical and three non-physical

2 Decide on one small change you can make that will make you happy, like a new hairstyle, wearing a new colour, or whitening your teeth

3 Think more carefully about your clothing choices – avoid too many dark colours. Maybe wear a bright top with dark trousers

4 Make a promise to be more positive about yourself, and start to recognise when you think negatively

5 Listen more carefully to the people around you – overly critical friends need to go, and highly opinionated family need to be spoken to

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