Calverley (3rd of August)

Classical Music

Here’s Calverley’s observations on people, life and more important things…

Funny old world this newspaper thing. Lots of PR people asking favours. Can you do this? How about doing that? So when one of Himself’s colleagues is invited to a local ‘cosmetic clinic’ for a chat she bounces along. Horror. PR lady does not turn up. Doctor does walk into room. He then proceeds to tell journalist how much work she needs on frown lines and eye bags to make her look good for her wedding. Mind you he did offer her a discount ‘being a journalist’. What a cheek. No deal. Not needed.

Bank charges are always a bone of contention. Most people forget the poor bankers have to generate a cash flow in order to earn bonuses. But the experience of one of Calverley’s dearest business friends takes the cheque book. A client owes him £1,000 and goes into a High Street bank to pay hard pound notes into friend’s account. Bank takes money, processes it and then deducts £15 in charges for counting the money. Bank machines can do that in seconds. Friend has asked Barclays to justify cost as being fair and reasonable. They take your money, give you no interest and charge you to count it. Watch this space.

Speeches at weddings are always a highlight of the day for one reason or another; good or bad. Best man stands up. Groom stands up. Father-of-the-bride stands up. Bride stands up. Oh, sorry, no she doesn’t. Well, seems these days she does. And quite right too. Himself was at a tying of the nuptials when the new Mrs told the new Mr she wanted to speak. He tells her that at traditional weddings that doesn’t happen. She points out that they have just been married in a barn. Not exactly a traditional background for a wedding. Words finally fade as he loses the argument… probably the first of many.

Nothing hurtful is intended when we refer to the ‘diamond geezer’. It’s an affectionate term for one of the town’s more colourful characters who is looking to set out his jewellery stall once again and things are gathering pace. He got out of the business a few years ago but has not lost the taste for all things that sparkle. Calverley wishes him well.

Surely a sign that summer is here and minds are elsewhere is the fact that a meeting of the council’s cabinet the other day lasted all of two minutes and forty seconds; must be the shortest on record. The cabinet, of course, is the ultimate decision-making body of councillors that is the power house behind the town.

Chin, chin readers

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